Happiness

What is real Happiness?

We all pursue happiness in our life, although this word may have different meanings for each one of us. Some of us look for repeated good moments in life, while others think of happiness more as a positive evaluation of one’s life’s circumstances.

The most widespread definition of happiness is a subjective state of peace and well-being. Happiness seems to have similar meanings around the world and is one of the few  basic emotions that can not be broken in simpler ones.

Some of us make it depend on good health, others on a successful carreer, on a loving relationship or on finantial abundance. But we often mischief ourselves, thinking that, when we get what we want, we will attain that so desired state of happiness. In fact, we do, for a while, and then we return to our usual humor.

The Happiness Setpoint

The problem is our happiness set-point, which is a genetic and learned tendency to maintain a certain level of happiness no matter the circumstances. Our basic humor depends on our happiness setpoint. That is why some of us are constantly happy, no matter what, and others have, as a rule, a gloomy humor.

The happiness setpoint is a sort of “thermostat” for happiness.  Imagine the thermostat of your central heating – it’s set for a certain temperature. When the room temperature exceeds the set temperature, the thermostat sends a signal to your central heating apparatus that makes it stop working; and when the room temperature goes below the set temperature, the thermostat sends a signal so that the central heating apparatus starts working. The goal is to maintain the room temperature at the same level, independently of the changes in exterior temperature.

The happiness setpoint works in the same way as a thermostat – no matter the circumstances of our life, happy or sad, after some time, our level of happiness returns to its habitual. The only exception is the death of a loved one.

What we now understand is that our happiness set point isn’t fixed—it can be changed.
While roughly 50% of it has a genetic origin, about 40% is shaped by our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs—what we learn and cultivate over time. Surprisingly, only 10% depends on the external circumstances of our lives. This means we hold significant power to elevate our baseline happiness by consciously transforming how we think, what we feel, and what we choose to believe.
Moreover, as the field of epigenetics reveals, our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs don’t just influence our mindset—they can also affect how our genes are expressed. This gives us even greater potential to shift our happiness set point from within.

The Guiding Principles to Maintain Happiness

We can become happier by integrating certain principles that help maintain a high level of well-being:

• when your energy expands you feel happier – Let yourself be guided by your inner compass—your emotional guidance system. Our emotions are energetic signals, reflecting our vibrational state. The higher the emotion, the higher our vibration—and with it, our energy and happiness levels rise.

In essence, there are only two types of energy in the universe: expansion and contraction. Our emotions mirror one or the other.
Negative emotions—such as fear, anger, disappointment, or sadness—contract our energy. When we’re in a contracted state, we feel tense, anxious, heavy, or restless. Our life energy slows down, muscle tension increases, breathing becomes shallow, and stress hormones surge.
Positive emotions—like love, gratitude, compassion, appreciation, or joy—do the opposite: they expand our energy. In this state, we feel light, open, joyful, and free. Our energy flows effortlessly, our muscles relax, our breathing deepens, and happiness-related hormones increase.

By tuning in and responding to this inner guidance, we naturally reinforce the thoughts and behaviors that elevate our energy—and, in doing so, raise our overall happiness.

• the Universe is here to support you – When you believe that the Universe is benevolent and on your side, you begin to trust that everything—whether joyful or challenging—is happening for you, not to you. Each experience becomes either a gift or a lesson, and often, both.

  People who hold this belief naturally look for the blessing in every situation. They meet life with greater trust, ease, and peace. Rather than resisting what is, they relax into it, knowing that meaning will emerge.

  So ask yourself: How might this be good for me? What could this situation be teaching me?
  Even if the answers aren’t clear right away, trust that they will reveal themselves in time. And in the meantime, by asking these questions, you shift into the mindset of a creator—empowered, open, and resilient—rather than falling into the role of a victim.

• when you feel good, you attract good things into your life – This principle is rooted in the Law of Attraction, which teaches that what you send out into the Universe—through your thoughts, emotions, and energy—comes back to you. When you feel good, your vibrational frequency rises, creating a powerful field of high vibration around you. According to this law, that field then draws in experiences that match its frequency—meaning more positivity, joy, and abundance.

  In simple terms: when you’re happy, you attract more reasons to be happy.

  You can use the Law of Attraction to bring all kinds of things into your life—success, love, opportunities—but its most profound power lies in healing and creating meaningful, positive transformation. When you consciously raise your vibration, you’re not just attracting good things; you’re aligning with the best version of yourself.

Habits we can cultivate

In addition to living these principles, embodying certain habits allows you to keep that feeling of happiness. I’ll mention those that I use the most:

• choose your thoughts attentively – Each day, we have around 80,000 thoughts—95% of which are the same as the day before. Even more strikingly, about 80% of those thoughts are negative. What’s more, negative thoughts leave a stronger imprint on the brain than positive ones (the electrical activity in the brain is much higher with negative thoughts than with positive ones). This is because they activate the brain’s alarm system, triggering the release of stress hormones like adrenaline, which create more vivid and lasting memories than the feel-good hormones associated with positive experiences.

  At first glance, this seems to work against our happiness. But the good news is—there’s a solution.

  Thanks to neuroplasticity, the brain has the remarkable ability to rewire itself, form new connections, and build new habits. When we intentionally focus on positive thoughts and reinforce them, we begin to create new, happier neural pathways.

  Start by gently questioning your negative thoughts—after all, your perception isn’t always reality. Don’t fight with those thoughts; simply acknowledge them, then let them go. Shift your attention to positive thoughts and experiences, and consciously hold them in your awareness for at least 20 seconds. This helps the brain encode them more deeply, strengthening those joyful pathways.

  Make it a habit to seek out the good. Be attentive to the beauty and positivity that surround you. Write down what you appreciate about yourself and others. And if you want to go deeper, consider engaging your subconscious—which is responsible for about 90% of your thought patterns—through tools like paraliminal audio programs to help shift underlying beliefs and reprogram your mental landscape.

• let your heart lead – There are two fundamental emotions: love and its opposite, fear. Every other emotion exists along the spectrum between these two.                                      Positive emotions—such as love, compassion, gratitude, joy, and enthusiasm—expand our energy, creating a sense of openness and ease. They also foster heart coherence, a state where our heart, mind, and body work in harmony.

  

  In contrast, negative emotions—like fear, sadness, despair, anger, envy, or anguish—contract our energy and disrupt heart coherence. They close us off, both physically and emotionally, and pull us out of alignment with our natural state of well-being.

  To cultivate a life rich in positive emotions, you can begin with simple, intentional practices:

  • Be grateful: Take time each day to appreciate what’s already good in your life—your health, family, friendships, your home, your pet, even the smallest joys, like the comfort of your bed.

  • Be forgiving: Free yourself from the weight of resentment. Forgiving those who’ve hurt you doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning—it means releasing the burden of pain that no longer serves you and free yourself from that burden.

  • Be compassionate: Try to see the world through the eyes of others. Understanding their suffering softens the heart and dissolves judgment.

  • Practice Lovingkindness: Throughout your day, silently wish well to the people you encounter. Whether you know them or not, offer them a simple blessing in your heart:
    May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.

  This gentle practice reconnects you to the flow of love within you—and over time, it transforms not only how you feel, but how you live.

• keep your body healthy – When we’re happy, our brain naturally produces chemicals          and hormones that make us feel good and are closely linked to our emotional well-being—such as serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine. They make us feel calm, connected, motivated, and joyful. However, two major factors can interfere with their production and steal our sense of well-being: stress and toxins.

  To support your brain’s natural chemistry and maintain your inner balance you should:

  • Manage stress: Don’t overburden yourself. Create space for rest, play, and activities that nourish you emotionally.

  • Detox your life: Help your body eliminate acccumulated toxins and avoid taking in new ones. This means being mindful of what you eat and drink (avoid refined carbohydrates, processed foods, saturated fats, sugar), avoiding polluted environments, and steering clear of substances like tobacco, drugs, or excessive alcohol.

  • Boost your happiness chemicals naturally: Practice simple daily activities that elevate your mood—smile often, listen to soothing music, cuddle a pet, walk in nature, dance, garden, or spend time with people who uplift you.

  • Move your body: Regular exercise, especially outdoors, is one of the most powerful ways to increase dopamine and serotonin levels while reducing stress hormones.

  Happiness isn’t just a feeling—it’s a state we can cultivate through consistent, mindful choices.

  If you want to learn more about happiness, you can read Happy for no Reason  by Marci Shimoff or take the Certification course of the same name (see link). I’ve taken the course myself and it inspired me to write this post. If you want to know my experience with the certification course, please contact me here.